Bad Analogies

...from a high school essay

7) He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

6) The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

5) Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

4) Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

3) John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

2) The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

1) The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.