Wife past lover

Missing Wife

A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing."

The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?"

"A month."

"Why did you wait so long to report it?"

"Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream, then I realized I didn't have any clean clothes to wear."

Attractive

While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ.

"I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."

His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."