The Saga of Darren Shan
16 years ago
Showing posts with label engineers. Show all posts
Engineers jokes
Friday, August 21, 2009
Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.
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Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
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Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
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Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
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Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file, and that's what they did last year
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A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a software engineer are travelling in an old Fiat 500 when all of the sudden the car backfires and comes to a halt.
The mechanical engineer says "Ah! It's probably a problem with the valves, or the piston!".
The electrical engineer says "Nonsense! It's most probably a problem with the spark plugs or the battery!".
The software engineer says "How about we all get out of the car, and get back in again, It might work...".
management & engineers
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am", replied the man.
"How did you know?"
"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."
The man below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!"
BOTTOM LINE: just imagine the management guys who are basically engineers... no wonder!!!!!
